This morning, I had a wonderful, simple email exchange that made my day.
I had received a message from Ontario Car Kit Consultants, a very cool company owned and operated by my friend, Ed Konda (I have written about Ed and his company in this blog before - "Some Friends Indeed"). This particular message was an update on his latest project - a dune buggy. Here is a picture of that magical-machine-in-progress, alongside some of OCKC's other incredible builds.
Reflecting on my admiration for Ed's willingness to "follow his bliss", I sent him a one-line email ... "Truly living the dream!"
Ed soon responded with "As are you my friend... Modern gladiator going from challenge to challenge, training self and others along the way."
I had never before considered that perspective on my life, but I really like the way it sounds. Even more than the first part of that idea, embodied by my Death Race adventure this coming weekend, I am proud of the thought that I get to be a contribution to others. As I enter into the second half of my life (I turned 44 this week), my education is really just gearing up - and it is all about how to help others better prepare themselves for their own life adventures (e.g. certified hypnotherapist, Crossfit trainer, Infinite Possibilities coach, meditation instruction).
In the fantastic film series I recently introduced in my hometown, Elevate Orillia, we screened "Finding Joe" last week.
I am truly grateful for my life, my adventure, and all of the awesome people like Ed who help me see greatness in myself and others.
A friend emailed me just now, explaining that he'd allowed himself to fall out of shape, and asking for advice as to how to turn that around. This is a great guy who has everything in the world going for him - smart, healthy, handsome, beautiful wife (inside and out), awesome kids - and yet we have had this same conversation, ongoing, for the past year and a half. I sent him the following email about 5 minutes ago - because I love him and his family and I want him to ROCK life!
Then I thought, "Hey. This is not just him. This is SOOOO many of my friends. And sometimes I am on that list too!"
So, here is my advice (actually, here are three other awesome people's advice repackaged as my own!)
then be the guy who can help someone in the same spot you were way back "now" - go from consumer of information and tips to producer/distributor, because you really do already have it all
Today, one of my Death Race friends posted a video of a deaf child having his cochlear implant turned on for the first time (thanks Michael Petrizzo). It was beautiful to watch and led me to watch several similar videos. Including the one below.
This is a 29 year old woman who had been deaf her whole life. In her wonderful blog, In The World But Not Of The World, she shares how hard she had worked, for as long as she could remember, at speech therapy and how grateful she was for all of her many blessings - despite not being able to hear. Her reaction to the device being turned on is awesome. Such overwhelming joy and appreciation.
I can't imagine watching this without being moved by such a profound moment for her, and I am immensely grateful to be able to witness that miracle. And yet, it is no less miraculous that you can hear, or that I can hear. Every sound is just as beautiful, or more, than that therapist's voice. Except that we have, naturally, come to take them for granted.
“Most human beings have an almost infinite capacity for taking things for granted.”
~ Aldous Huxley
Every single day there are countless visions that would seem overwhelmingly beautiful if you could just "allow" yourself to see the for the first time again. Your child's face. A moonrise. A maple tree framed by the blue sky. If we were to remove the automatic filter of familiarity we would find ourselves weeping too.
And so far I am just addressing what is on the surface - the concrete stimuli available to our physical senses. Though that alone is a bounty beyond measure. The smell of surf. The taste of a grandmother's baking. The feel of a loved one's fingers tickling your neck.
“When something does not insist on being noticed, when we aren’t grabbed by the collar or struck on the skull by a presence or an event, we take for granted the very things that most deserve our gratitude.”
-Cynthia Ozick
Then there are the intangibles. Love. Joy. Bliss. Wonder. Gratitude itself (I have thought how grateful I am to be someone who is grateful).
One may also consider what is beyond even that. Or behind it, as you may believe. In this video, Richard Feynman talks about the beauty that he sees as a scientist. Please take what works for you from this short film. He shares his skepticism about organized religion and, while my view is not dissimilar from his, I do not wish to challenge or disrespect anyone's beliefs (and will, in fact, make it up to you in the next video) ...
As the images in Feynman's "Beauty" video remind us, there is so much to be grateful for. I would actually assert that there is EVERYTHING to be grateful for. Yes, everything.
Cancer survivors often talk of their gratitude for all of the good that the disease brought into their lives. Including Lance Armstrong - “It gave me a chance to re-evaluate my life and my career. Cancer certainly gives things a new perspective. I would not have won the Tour de France if I had not had cancer. It gave me new strength and focus.”
Mark Zupan, quadriplegic star of the documentary "Murderball" says, "Breaking my neck was the best thing that ever happened to me. I have an Olympic medal. I've been to so many countries I would never have been, met so many people I would never have met. I've done more in the chair, ... than a whole hell of a lot of people who aren't in chairs."
Just over a month ago, Travis Mills, an American soldier, lost all four limbs to an improvised explosive device in Afghanistan. In this news video, he is upbeat and optimistic and says, “My life’s not over. It’s got a little more unique.” He hopes to work as a motivational speaker, or perhaps, find a way to stay in the military and help instruct soldiers. “I’m just inspired to get better, because I have things I want to do with my life.”
You get the point, but here is one more video. It is somewhat of a counterpoint to Richard Feynman's position, but is also similar in that it demonstrates how important it is to have a "bigger picture" perspective, whatever form it may take for you.
Here is something I'd ask you to think about ...
If these people can find a way to be grateful for disease and disability, could you take a moment every day to be profoundly grateful for your health? And whatever problems you may be facing, could you also get very present to the nearly infinite blessings you are still presented with in your life? Whatever your situation, you are far better served by finding the good in it than the bad.
No matter how dark things seem to be or actually are, raise your sights and see possibilities - always see them, for they're always there.
~ Norman Vincent Peale
I have posted this next link many times - and I don't mind promising that I will share it many more! Rob Brezsny's essay "Glory In The Highest" is one of the most impactful things I have ever read. He points out clearly, specifically, just how astonishingly much is going RIGHT for us at any given moment. Please read this (you can download a .pdf >HERE<, and remember it anytime you start to feel like a victim of the world ...
Thousands of things go right for you every day, beginning the moment you wake up. Through some magic you don't fully understand, you're still breathing and your heart is beating, even though you've been unconscious for many hours. The air is a mix of gases that's just right for your body's needs, as it was before you fell asleep.
You can see! Light of many colors floods into your eyes, registered by nerves that took God or evolution or some process millions of years to perfect. The interesting gift of these vivid hues comes to you courtesy of an unimaginably immense globe of fire, the sun, which continually detonates nuclear reactions in order to convert its body into light and heat and energy for your personal use.
Did you know that the sun is located at the precise distance from you to be of perfect service? If it were any closer, you'd fry, and if it were any further away, you'd freeze. Here's another one of the sun?s benedictions: It appears to rise over the eastern horizon right on schedule every day, as it has since long before you were born.
Do you remember when you were born, by the way? It was a difficult miracle that involved many people who worked hard on your behalf. No less miraculous is the fact that you have continued to grow since then, with millions of new cells being born inside you to replace the old ones that die. All of this happens whether or not you ever think about it.
On this day, like almost every other, you have awoken inside a temperature-controlled shelter. You have a home! Your bed and pillow are soft and you're covered by comfortable blankets. The electricity is turned on, as usual. Somehow, in ways you're barely aware of, a massive power plant at an unknown distance from your home is transforming fuel into currents of electricity that reach you through mostly hidden conduits in the exact amounts you need, and all you have to do to control the flow is flick small switches with your fingers.
You can walk! Your legs work wonderfully well. Your heart circulates your blood all the way down to replenish the energy of the muscles in your feet and calves and thighs, and when the blood is depleted it finds its way back to your heart to be refreshed. This blessing recurs over and over again without stopping every hour of your life.
Your home is perhaps not a million-dollar palace, but it's sturdy and gigantic compared to the typical domicile in every culture that has preceded you. The floors aren't crumbling, and the walls and ceilings are holding up well, too. Doors open and close without trouble, and so do the windows. What skillful geniuses built this sanctuary for you? How and where did they learn their craft?
In your bathroom, the toilet is functioning perfectly, as are several other convenient devices. You have at your disposal soaps, creams, razors, clippers, tooth-cleaning accessories: a host of products that enhance your hygiene and appearance. You trust that unidentified scientists somewhere tested them to be sure they're safe for you to use.
Amazingly, the water you need so much of comes out of your faucets in an even flow, with the volume you want, and either cold or hot as you desire. It's pure and clean; you're confident no parasites are lurking in it. There is someone somewhere making sure these boons will continue to arrive for you without interruption for as long as you require them.
Look at your hands. They're astounding creations that allow you to carry out hundreds of tasks with great force and intricate grace. They relish the pleasure and privilege of touching thousands of different textures, and they're beautiful.
In your closet are many clothes you like to wear. Who gathered the materials to make the fabrics they're made of? Who imbued them with colors, and how did they do it? Who sewed them for you?
In your kitchen, appetizing food in secure packaging is waiting for you. Many people you've never met worked hard to grow it, process it, and get it to the store where you bought it. The bounty of tasty nourishment you get to choose from is unprecedented in the history of the world.
Your many appliances are working flawlessly. Despite the fact that they feed on electricity, which could kill you instantly if you touched it directly, you feel no fear that you're in danger. Why? Your faith in the people who invented, designed, and produced these machines is impressive.
It's as if there's a benevolent conspiracy of unknown people that is tirelessly creating hundreds of useful things you like and need.
There's more. Gravity is working exactly the way it always has, neither pulling on you with too much or too little force. How did that marvel ever come to be? By some prodigious, long-running accident? It doesn't really matter, since it will continue to function with astounding efficiency whether or not you understand it.
Meanwhile, a trillion other elements of nature's miraculous design are expressing themselves perfectly. Plants are growing, rivers are flowing, clouds are drifting, winds are blowing, animals are reproducing. The weather is an interesting blend of elements you've never before experienced in quite this combination. Though you may take it for granted, you relish the ever-shifting sensations of light and temperature as they interact with your body.
There's more. You can smell odors and hear sounds and taste tastes, many of which are quite pleasing. You can think! You're in possession of the extraordinary gift of self-awareness. You can feel feelings! Do you realize how improbably stupendous it is for you to have been blessed with that mysterious capacity? And get this: You can visualize an inexhaustible array of images, some of which represent things that don't actually exist. How did you acquire this magical talent?
By some improbable series of coincidences or long-term divine plan, language has come into existence. Millions of people have collaborated for many centuries to cultivate a system for communication that you understand well. Speaking and reading give you great pleasure and a tremendous sense of power.
Do you want to go someplace that's at a distance? You have a number of choices about what machines to use in order to get there. Whatever you decide — car, plane, bus, train, subway, ship, helicopter, or bike — you have confidence that it will work efficiently. Multitudes of people who are now dead devoted themselves to perfecting these modes of travel. Multitudes who are still alive devote themselves to ensuring that these benefits keep serving you.
Maybe you're one of the hundreds of millions of people in the world who has the extraordinary privilege of owning a car. It's a brilliant invention made by highly competent workers. Other skilled laborers put in long hours to extract oil from the ground or sea and turn it into fuel so you can use your car conveniently. The roads are drivable. Who paved them for you? The bridges you cross are potent feats of engineering. Do you realize how hard it was to fabricate them from scratch?
You're aware that in the future shrinking oil reserves and global warming may impose limitations on your ability to use cars and planes and other machines to travel. But you also know that many smart and idealistic people are diligently striving to develop alternative fuels and protect the environment. And compared to how slow societies have been to understand their macrocosmic problems in the past, your culture is moving with unprecedented speed to recognize and respond to the crises spawned by its technologies.
As you travel, you might listen to music. Maybe you've got an MP3 player, a fantastic invention that has dramatically enhanced your ability to hear a stunning variety of engaging sounds at a low cost. Or maybe you have a radio. Through a process you can't fathom, music and voices that originate at a distance from you have been converted into invisible waves that bounce off the ionosphere and down into your little machine, where they are transformed back into music and voices for you to enjoy.
Let's say it's 9:30 a.m. You've been awake for two hours, and a hundred things have already gone right for you. If three of those hundred things had not gone right — your toaster was broken, the hot water wasn't hot enough, there was a stain on the pants you wanted to wear — you might feel that today the universe is against you, that your luck is bad, that nothing's going right. And yet the fact is that the vast majority of everything is working with breathtaking efficiency and consistency. You would clearly be deluded to imagine that life is primarily an ordeal.
