Thursday, July 12, 2012

Still searching for a motive ...

So, I was drugged on Tuesday.

Ok, I THINK I was drugged on Tuesday.

Except that nothing about the story makes sense. So, my 13 year old son, Jack, suggested I share my version and ask for suggestions as to what could have been at play. Here goes ...

I had a couple of meetings in Toronto Tuesday, and brought Jack to the city with me to longboard with his cousin, Grant. After connecting the boys in the morning, I attended my two meetings, taking me through into the early afternoon.

On my way across town, to my cousin's house in "The Beaches", I stopped to buy a Tim Horton's frozen raspberry-lemonade, a sweet - albeit unhealthy - treat. The older lady (65?) poured the syrup into the cup, followed by some slushed ice, and blended it up. When she handed it to me it did not look as pink as I'm used to - more orangey in fact. Walking down the street, it tasted less than great but was still cold and somewhat refreshing, so I finished it and thought nothing more of it.

I arrived at my cousin's to find no one home and the doors locked. They have a great outdoor sofa in the back garden, with a shade cover, so I laid out on that to enjoy some chill time before everyone got home. Soon I was drifting in and out of a very foggy sleep. At one point I heard voices in the house and called out to Grant's sister, Avalon, who opened the sliding door then carried on with her girlfriends. Next time I woke up I was sprawled on a pile of vinyl patio cushions in the basement. I vaguely remember walking up the stairs and finding the living room couch. Which is where is stayed for the next few hours.

During this uncharacteristic afternoon slumber I found I was somewhat aware of my surroundings but entirely unable to interact. Several times I heard the kids come into the room and comment on the fact that I was sleeping, but I couldn't open my eyes or speak, much less get up and join in any activity.

Eventually I "came to" and heard Jack and Grant on the upper level. I walked up and asked what was going on. They were playing computer games, so paid me little mind as I crashed on Grant's bed for another half hour. Then I must have wandered back down to the couch, because that is where I woke up when Suzy (Grant's mom and my cousin) got home. IT WAS 7:30PM!!!

We laughed at my sleepiness and chalked it up to some much-needed downtime. After a nice, casual dinner, Jack and I left at about 8:30pm. As soon as we got into the car we both noticed an overwhelming smell like cough syrup. On investigating, we found that it was coming from the empty Tim Horton's cup that had contained the frozen lemonade. I bundled it with other garbage and pitched it. In hindsight I should have maybe kept it to be tested.

Jack and I laughed about the strangeness of the afternoon and bantied around theories about what could have happened. He said that he was fairly certain he hadn't seen an elderly lady in a brown uniform and hairnet violating me on the couch. My wallet was in my pocket, with all of my cards intact. It looked like this one was going into the "mystery file".

A large Starbucks coffee got us safely through the drive home, then I slept soundly through the night.

So, I am throwing an open question out there.

W.T.F. ???????

Was I drugged? If so, why??
Could the syrup have simply gone bad? And why would it have affected me that way?
Am I just getting old and crazy?

All valid possibilities I guess. What are your thoughts?

Anyway, that is my story and I am sticking to it. Well, gotta go. My new neighbour just dropped off a tray of brownies. They look a little green but are strangely delicious. I think I will eat a few ...


  1. I lost a whole weekend once
    Your cousin Chris concussed me
    I still do not know what his motives were
    You, however, are the unwitting victim
    of an acid flashback my friend
    (move computer screen in and out
    and make the Twilight Zone sound now)

  2. Sounds like a possible food allergy, John.

  3. That is the best theory posited so far!

  4. Though, when I moved the camera in and out all I got was Dr. Tongue's Evil House of Pancakes ...