I don't really care how many Facebook friends I have. Some days I get several new requests, and as long as I know the person at all I am always glad to add them. I mostly use Facebook to send out good energy - and it doesn't cost me anything to have more people receive that energy, so I don't see why I would be stingy with it. It does my heart good when I see something I have shared re-posted as I know I may have made a small difference for someone that day.
Of course Facebook doesn't tell us when we have been "defriended", but I am sure I also get deleted pretty regularly. And that is great too. My stream of consciousness posting certainly doesn't resonate with everyone and I don't take it personally at all if someone rethinks their online connection to me.
But today I did notice a missing friend. I was tagging my daughter in a picture and her name wasn't coming up in the list. When I checked for her in my friends she was nowhere to be found. I thought back to once, last year, when she was grumpy with me and got my attention with a Facebook "time-out", so I sent her a text asking if I'd ended up on her shitlist again. She replied that I was still in her good books, but that she had just decided that she really doesn't need or want to have her parents on her Facebook page.
This is something I understand entirely - she is in Grade 9 and certainly deserves her privacy. I replied that I supported her decision and wasn't offended. And I do and I am not. In fact, I am quite proud of her for asserting her independence.
But I am also sad. Not because my beautiful daughter is growing up. And not because I am worried about her. Just because I have lost a pretty awesome portal through which to admire Katy's incredible coolness. I have the funkiest, most beautiful, creative, amazing, fun, expressive daughter - and found myself reminded of that every time I saw one of her posts. And the opportunity to "like" or comment on them was an easy way to communicate my appreciation of who she is.
I will get used to this - though I have already twice gone to send her links that she would enjoy, then remembered that I can't. So I email them instead, knowing that she'll maybe get to those messages eventually ;) And I can still tell her every day, in person, how much I love and respect and adore her. The odd time she'll even let me sneak in a hug or a kiss on the cheek. (She IS 14 after all)
Hey - If you see Katy today, tell her that her Dad thinks she's awesome!