Sunday, April 6, 2014

A serious post that really doesn't matter

(WARNING - In spite of my ego-driven belief that I actually know things that could help you, and my inclusion of content from a leading astro-physicist, the most profound statement in this whole post comes from Bill Murray in "Meatballs")

Do you ever get yourself twisted up in your "problems", knowing full well they are the result of abundance not lack? And actually have all the "answers" to which you could easily coach anyone else in your shoes? But don't listen to any of them anyway? And then, just when you are almost all sorted, remember that it is all made up and that none of it matters beyond what we make matter? Yeah, me too!

The past few weeks (even months), I have been grinding through doubts about my relationship, my career, my parenting and my health. In each case, the questions have been very valid (even if the answers are equally evident). But I have been brutally stubborn about wallowing in them. Every week I coach clients through their not dissimilar issues, all while remaining obstinately attached to my own.

Finally, just over the past couple of days, I have simply allowed myself to "be". And have let go of having to "solve" anything for a bit. To just breathe and smile, and be OK with everything not being OK (all while realizing that it actually is)





And, of course, what has happened is that the incessant noise in my head has died down. And I can now hear the voice that was always there, patiently waiting to be heard.

It is saying ... 

"You love her. She loves you. Stop stressing about the past and the future. Are you happy now? Good - then BE love."
"You are ridiculously fortunate to have any job, let alone the amazing one that you have created! Be massively grateful for the awesome parts of it and know that the challenging aspects are there to cause you to stretch and grow. And it is up to you to create the path that you want going forward. The opportunity is infinite - just ask (while being of service and value)."
"You are a great Dad. You have spectacular kids. They are 17 and 15, and (despite your 'best efforts') you are just not as cool as you think. So, simply keep loving them and appreciating and supporting them - and cherish the fleeting moments when they, occasionally, acknowledge that they love and appreciate you too (especially that rarest of admissions that maybe, just maybe, you are sometimes kind of cool). Make the most of your time together, and know that you are creating opportunities for them, too, when you are traveling."
"Of course you are bashed up! You have boasted for years that you take on one Herculean challenge after another with minimal training, with a body already compromised by years of wrestling, snowboarding and spontaneous (entirely unnecessary) stunt-falls. None of this is life-threatening! You have nagging injuries in your shoulder and your groin - both well earned, and both addressable (albeit agonizingly gradually). Slow down, Stretch. Take baby steps. Set longer-term goals. Go back to basics and do the work You know everything you need to know, and have everything you need to have. Remember that you are still able to do so much, and stop taking it all for granted! You are blessed beyond belief."

In other words, "LET GO of your story about things NOT being PERFECT. See them just as they are, and be GRATEFUL for exactly THAT. Be present to how amazing NOW actually is! And know that the future will be every bit as amazing as the most magical of moments you've already experienced."


***************

(So, that is kind of the end of that post. And I should probably just leave it at that. In fact, if you agree - then you can just stop reading here and say "Well, that was a great post. What will I do now?"

But... there is a bit more that I have to say...)

***************

I have written before about the trouble with "SHOULD" (and others have written more and better on the same), but it is clear now that most of my recent challenges were caused by my focus on how things "should" be ...

So, just in case you've been stuck in a similar state, here are a few things that have helped shake me free of the clutches of the "shitty shitty shoulds" (thanks Regena Garrepy for that perfect term).

  1. THIS TOO SHALL PASS ... (Thanks Penny Light for posting!)
    "Reflect upon the rapidity with which all that exists and is coming to be is swept past us and disappears from sight. For substance is like a river in perpetual flow ... and ever at our side is the immeasurable span of the past and the yawning gulf of the future, in which all things vanish away. Then how is he not a fool who in the midst of all this is puffed up with pride, or tormented, or bewails his lot as though his troubles would endure for any great while?"

    ~  Marcus Aurelius


  2. YOU CAN ALWAYS DO SOMETHING ELSE ... (Thanks Lindsay Love for posting!)



  3. IN THE END, IT IS ABOUT MORE THAN WHAT WE THINK IS SO IMPORTANT ANYWAY. THINK BIGGER!!  ... (Thanks Tom Robbins for being awesome!)

    "Our greatest human adventure is the evolution of consciousness. We are in this life to enlarge the soul, liberate the spirit, and light up the brain."
    ~  Tom Robbins

  4. EVEN IF YOU ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN THE WORLD, THE WORLD IS PRETTY SMALL ...



  5. AND, IF THAT DOESN'T GIVE YOU ENOUGH PERSPECTIVE, HOW ABOUT LAST WEEK'S EVIDENCE THAT OUR UNIVERSE IS JUST THE START OF WHAT EXISTS?!



  6. Ultimately, it all goes back to Meatballs (like most blog posts worth reading), where Bill Murray (aka Tripper Harrison) gives us some existential brilliance at 1:02 in this perfect pep-talk!


So, what that little voice is telling me now is..."Be Happy. And do whatever will make that so. Because THAT is what matters."

*************************

BONUS SONG ...

2 comments:

  1. I have missed your regular blogs. <3 I still send them to everyone I think needs to hear your words. <3

    ReplyDelete
  2. LOVE it! You nailed it, the small stuff doesn't matter. A trick I like to use when I'm feeling all "merde" with life, is to input my google address, and then zoom out, and out, and out and OUT: perspective. What matters? Risk can be defined as the chance that something irreversible and life threatening is going to happen. If we look at our anxieties and reflect them against this definition, it gives a reality check, a nice splash of water on the face, a new page. Keep on keepin on!

    ReplyDelete